C-Word

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. ….By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

-John 13:34–35

The C-word?  When I was dating my wife in college, I would say for quite some time, we were “just friends.”  She put up with it for a long time (close to a year). She knew I was not perfect, but she believed in my potential.  She gave me just enough room to let me chase my tail like a confused puppy until I showed up next to her, tired of running in circles, and ready for me to settle down and realize that everything I was looking for was right there with her.  I came back from Japan on a study abroad and had been hypnotized by U2 “I still haven’t found what I am looking for.”  I called Sandy and said that it “wasn’t a good time for her to come see me at the beach.”  She called back and told me she was going to Del Mar to see her sister Julie for a week, and if I decided I wanted to see her, to give her a call.  She gave me time and space to figure it out, and it only took about 12 hours after she landed in CA for me to give her a call.  Then there was a long walk on the beach, and I said I was ready for the “C-word.”  “Really?!  You mean…

Commitment. It may take a while to get there, but if you are committed, you know where to stay.  From then on, she had my FULL attention, and I am better for it.  She was patient, and she waited for me to make that commitment. We do the same sometimes as missionaries as we try to invite people to make commitments, and make covenants so that they can progress.  Faith takes ACTION. You have to act on your commitments in order to be converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Agency is real.  You make a choice to commit.

“Don’t always worry about making the right choice in choosing who to marry.  Make a choice and then make it right.”

Content: That is a word I do not use often, but I have been content and very happy to live this simple life in Ghana, serving others and having Sandy all to myself.

Concentrate: Concentration is what we have to do to accomplish our missionary purpose. We have one focus here, and that is to help the work move forward. It’s nice to have one focus. When we return home, we won’t be able to concentrate on one thing. We will be pulled in many directions at home, but the desire is to maintain Consistency with our daily scripture study and prayer! If that is the first thing we do each day, the rest of the day falls into place.

Cleavers, Believers, Never Leavers: (Sandy and my saying) Part of what we are teaching the missionaries is how a couple works together.  Not all families have an intact couple at home.  Many of the missionaries lost one or both to unknown sicknesses and diseases, and even a couple of them lost parents to COVID.  We share a saying from our family, or rather between Sandy and me.  I Cleave to my covenants and also to Sandy, I hug and hold onto her.  She is home to me when I am in her arms, so I need my hugs.  We Believe in our faith and the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the restored Church of Jesus Christ (and…we came on a mission to share it!).  Never Leavers means that we work it out and hold on to each other.  The grass is greener where it is watered.  We BOTH work on our relationship and do the best we can for each other.  Not perfect, but progressing and striving to be a little better each day.  Where would I go??

Gone, but not forgotten:  It was our last time to teach at a Multi Zone.  We taught the bookends to Preach My Gospel Chapter 11 on helping people make and keep commitments.

Go on a mission:  I love the missionaries that are out here keeping a commitment they made as a youth, but then it gets real.  I also love the missionaries who are such recent converts that come on a mission to show God their appreciation for all that he has given us.

JP & Sara:  JP left for Argentina on a mission 4 years ago…then his parents were called on a mission to Western Africa.  He came home from his mission to…Ghana, where his parents were.  He then went back after 3 weeks, to Utah, and stayed with family and has been on his own with the help of his siblings - they have a close family.  He came in May to visit his parents again in Africa with his fiancée, Sarah.  Great couple, and I’m sure hard on mom and dad not to be part of this important time in JP’s life.  They will be home for the wedding. 

Family for Family trade:  We are selfish creatures, and we have to strive to be unselfish.  Coming on a mission and sacrificing 3 years like the Jacobsens have done is unselfish, and they sacrificed some (a lot) of their own family time.  They will have double the grandkids when they return.  They missed part of their life at home, but they are now a BIG Part in the lives of 170 missionaries now, and close to 400 when it is all over.  Like I did with my mission president, these GAWM missionaries will look to President and Sister Jacobsen as parents. 

If not them, who?  They answered the call, and Sandy and I are grateful to support them in their efforts.  An auto race team cannot do well without a good pit crew.  Sister B and I, the Judds, and the Kaaens are the Pit Crew that help the Mission President and his wife do the hard work of driving, redirecting, selecting the lanes, and being the inspired leaders on the track that help the missionaries bring others to Christ.  Glad to be here…

Brain Dump on new couples:  I had some good chats with Sarah and JP.  Companionship inventory: forgive fast; move on.  Make each other happy.  Don’t sandbag and hold onto things that will make them unhappy again…. “Well, he did this, and he was disorganized." It’s like holding snapshots of a dirty room.  The devil likes it when couples tear each other apart.  He doesn’t want you to recover or reconcile, he wants to drive a wedge and lead you away from love… Marriage may be hard at times, but it is the best way to have a happy life.

Early market:  JP, and President and I got up at 4:30 am to go to the Central Market of Accra.  My friend Collins, the woodcarver, was our guide.  I would get lost in some of the alleys he took us down.  President was in full mission president uniform as always, JP and I opted for P-day attire with my tag.  We went early, so we did not waste any of the day.  I love going here because it is so interesting with so many people selling so many things.  My machete salesman was happy to see me as he was setting up.  A lot of people were in full hustle mode, trying to get you to buy.  The best time to go is early because the best stuff is there and is sold early.  The shop owners want to make that first sale to “bless my shop” so that the rest of the day will go well.  The prices are best in the morning and then creep up during the day.

Bubbles:  Random event on the streets of Coco Palms…. Saturday and a lot of kids were outside.  We have two little girls across the street who are 4 & 5 years old.  I have been in the pool with them on a Saturday, and Sandy has gotten to know the mom, Carol.  They have nannies who watch over them, and they have a fun little life.  Sister Bertha came out with bubble swords for each of them when she saw them out in the street playing. It was so unexpected, and they were so excited and happy making bubbles.  The mom was so grateful and wrote her a nice text later that day…Sandy was just doing Sandy…she doesn’t have grandkids here so she has to make someone’s kids happy, whether it is handing out CTR rings to the newly baptized children, puffy stickers on the back of the hands of the young children at church, or full blown sword bubble makers to the neighbor children.  Sister “Mary Poppins” always has something in her bag to make someone happy. 

Saturday day off.  For the second time in our mission, we had a real day off, thanks to heavy rain. After the Central Market in the morning, we hit the Butterfly Market, then had plans to go out with the missionaries, but they were cancelled with rain… that freed up the afternoon for a nap, a movie double-feature (never before on the 3 years of the Jacobsen’s!) Bead-making and chill time with JP and Sara.  It was nice.  We watched Family Man (Nicolas Cage, 2003) and Sweet Home Alabama (Reese Witherspoon, 2004). Half our crew had not seen these classics?!

“Never trust a thin chef or a baker.”

-Sister Doan (Quilter)

“We did not come this far to only go this far…get off the log and finish strong.”

Sister J/Kasoa Stake Conference: 

Tool Box:  The Mission Leaders shared a toolbox of teachings from past zone conferences. 

“Keep the Main thing, the main thing”: Your focus is your missionary purpose described below!  So often, we are distracted by secondary questions and secondary activities.  We are here to serve and invite people to follow Jesus Christ.  Just do that.

“Remember Your missionary purpose”: To bring others to Christ through faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and Enduring to the end. Not too complicated.

“Be 100% responsible”: Don’t point fingers or blame.  Own it.  When you go into a new area, no matter what hasn’t been done in that area, you make it the best.  You leave it better than you found it. 

“Stay in your lane”:  Do what you are supposed to do and don’t look at what others are doing.  Don’t compare. You do you and don’t worry about what others are doing.  We are all given different talents and gifts, and that is what makes life interesting.  You are only judged on what you BECOME. You will not be judged against anyone else, so don’t waste time comparing!

“Follow your ‘Bing’”:  The first thought or bing is what you should follow.  The devil is the father of the second being.  He makes you second-guess and will plant seeds of doubt.  Just do what you thought of first, and you will be correct 90% of the time.

Look forward:  Don’t hit the guy in front of you, and you will be OK.  When you repent, you turn to face God.  You don’t look back.  You progress by looking forward and then moving! How do you repent of a bad day, wake up on time the next day, and do it better?  Start strong by making your bed and being perfect in that one thing…

Sing with your whole heart:  who cares who is listening, just let it out and own it, Nancy style and GHANA style

Ranch Wisdom In Africa:  You are safer in the herd.  When a cow goes off on its own and is away from the herd and away from the safety of the gathering, that is when a lion can go after it.  A lion (or any predator) will wait until an animal is in a vulnerable place…it is our job to NOT be vulnerable.  That doesn’t mean we have to be the strongest, but it’s safer to walk in a group than to be alone.  (taken from Sister at Winneba Stake Conf)  (My freshman year in high school, I went to seminary so that I could walk to school with two big friends that protected me, rather than try to walk out of my neighborhood alone with the lions around.)

“Sara and Perry killed a pig, first time out!”

-Proud mother-in-law on red-neck initiation in Florida

“…they understand that you are not an accountant…”

-Sosu, after I asked whether I needed to prepare for an audit.

“Sarah Smile…oh won’t you smile a while with me..”

-Hall and Oats song 70’s

“I choose us..”

-Family Man Movie

“I’d like the cheaper chicken.”

-Father of the Bride Movie

Berthas in Accra

Kasoa Stake Conference

May 11-18