Four-Giving

This week was really busy!  And filled with blessings… Amongst the hustle and bustle was our 37th Anniversary; a new GrandBaby boy born (fourth for Alex and MK) on 5-29; new missionaries coming in (including 3 Samoans!) and missionaries leaving (1 Samoan).  The last time we do a transfer and the beginning of a 4-week sprint to give our best efforts to the very end.  Megan, my daughter, ran the 400M race in High School…the race is won in that last kick when you are tired and you still have enough to push to the end and finish strong….we are still running…

Fourth Decade:  I often say that you cannot buy certain numbers; they have to be earned.  One of my greatest accomplishments in life and what I will take into the next life is now “37.”  I have been happily married for 37 years to Sandy.  You can buy cool stuff, but you can’t buy a long and happy marriage with a cool woman like Sandy.  You can rush into it, but you can’t rush that number along.  It just takes years, patience, and perseverance.  Sometimes that number is longer and better on the second or third marriage, which is a nod to practice, faith, and hope- I love that.  But for me, I am grateful for my first run lasting this long…at this point, I am so connected with her that I am just not going anywhere.  A mission can be a good test of that number and that relationship.  I’m grateful that the mission has made our marriage better.  It has required us to practice talking, forgiving, and forging forward, and NOT living in the past.  “The Past is in the Past” …and it should stay there.   One of my favorite things with Sandy is to sit next to her in the temple…hand in hand, we usually say sorry for whatever we did recently and start over again.  It’s a great way to keep it fresh and enjoy today, rather than dwelling on things that cannot be changed.  One of Sandy’s super-powers is forgiveness and moving forward…with great energy and not much sleep. I am lucky, happy, and grateful to be so numbered with her.  Love and Happy Anniversary!

“Stay, Stay, Stay, I’ve been loving you for quite some time, time, time…

….I think that’s best if we both stay”

-Taylor Swift Song

Four-giving:  Sandy gave me four kids: two boys and two girls.  I am proud of them individually and as a group- they seem to look out for each other, and I really like that.  It was a great time raising them, and it’s crazy that they are adults now and having their own kids.  We lived in 4 houses as they grew up.  Now Alex has given us the fourth grand in his and MK family.  Andrew and Liza are pushing to 4 with Twins this year!  Megan has kids who are so good and cute, and are a family of 4, living in a 4-story house in DC.  Mo and Cade are getting married in September, and they have been dating for over 4 years.  How Four-tunate are we?!  Add to this that Bishop Archibald’s favorite number is 4.  Brett Farve…etc… I could keep going…

5-29-25 Frederic Ivory Bertha was born into a great family! Alex, Mary Katheryn, Marigold, Gloria & Daphne….adding the fourth child.  Thanks, MK, Thanks, Alex!

48-9-33: The KaaenBo number for Elder and Sister Kaaen.  He was also a Kaaen-verted to the church, and he has a good wife whom he sometimes just has to buckle down and follow.  They were married when they were 20 and 19, they did not serve missions, but they are here doing double time with her being the medical advisor and he is the new Kaaen-tact as a Bike Master and also English Connect and Pathway.  They have KaaenCecrated themselves to service in the Ghana Accra West Mission.  48 years married; 9 daughters; 33 grandkids.  #ABGoals.  I can really only hope to hit the 48 number, but I am good with that…I can control that.  No use worrying about anything that you just can’t control or do anything about.  I am so grateful for healthy children and healthy daughter-in-laws.

“I had a pastor give me a 20-minute lecture that made me feel stupid.  I spent 5 minutes with 2 missionaries at age 19, and then answered my question…If there is a trinity, why is Jesus praying to himself?  Missionaries said they are 3 distinct beings, and Jesus prayed to his Father in Heaven.”

-Dean Kaaen as an investigator

Transfers and New Missionaries:  Our Anniversary was on transfer day, Tuesday.  4 TroTros in, trade and swap, and everyone goes away…unless you are here to train.  Then Wed,s they bring in the new missionaries.  Three islanders from Samoa, so I was happy to see them and talk story.  These are really good, happy young men, and I am already lamenting that I do not get to spend more time with them.  We laughed a lot, and I let them know to leave the home flag in your bag and your sunglasses off the top of your head.  Sister J caught me giving them the secrets…like shave that small time mustache you are trying to keep and hope no one like Sister J will notice.  She sees it, we all see it…use the razor boys!  They took it well.

Do the right thing: I was in the middle of an hour-plus Card Load (financial thing I do to pay all the missionaries their monies). That I do twice a month, and I check out.  I could see out of the corner of my eye that the elder going home to Samoa tomorrow, was headed out to stay at an apartment, and they were trying to figure out where to go for food.  He is Samoan, and he knows that I am a Matai, and we just had three new Samoans join our mission today.  What would Garry do in Samoa?  What would Tuilimu do?  I walked away from the computer and would pick it up later…. I took the boys out to 80/20 Burgers for dinner.  The dinner was the equivalent of the 2 weeks' subsistence pay for the missionaries, but it tasted so good.  I have to serve my Samoan brothers and pay back all the hospitality I have enjoyed in Samoa.  It was worth it and the right thing.  I can always do the accounting later at night, but I could not share a last meal with this good Samoan elder again.  Don’t miss special moments in life.

Departure: My Samoan brother was brought to the airport for the 3-day trip home to Samoa.  I think he will be glad to be home, and he worked hard while he was here.  He was lucky to come to Ghana and see another side of life.  But I don’t think he will leave the island again.  Maybe to go to New Zealand, but he was really content with the idea of growing his own taro and living life off the land.  I was jealous of the simplicity of it all.  He will miss Sister Bertha, who gets to know people fast and exudes love and caring.  No one quite like her…. Then there was Elder Kaufusi from Australia, who went in a carry-on-sized roller to go home.  Nothing to bring back.  He left all his clothing and half his weight.  He lost 135 pounds on his mission!  From Obelo to Zuess.

For the love of bikes:  I am in a mad dash to upgrade all the bikes.  I was up early on Saturday and drove out to one of our elders, almost 2 hours away.  I gave him one of the bikes 2 weeks ago, and it broke the first day (remember, these are used bikes, but I am trying to get better ones and trade out the bad parts).  He was happy with the new bike on Saturday, but asked about his old blue bike… Not what you want to ask the Bike Master.  I told him I would not come back, and he could have this one or his broken bike.  He then was asking about other bikes in the truck… ”those are going to other elders; this is not Nordstroms” (He is from DRC and did not know what I meant).  I stayed and changed a tire and adjusted some brakes…in the sun…it was HOT.  Then to Buruburam with Wharakura (Aust) and Miligi (Am. Samoa).  They liked the two matching black bikes I gave them.  Men in Black (Bikes).  We then had a prayer to bless their steads that they would be safe and free from mechanical difficulties.  Then the last bike went to another Samoan, Elder Unasu.  He also got my size 13 Keen Sandals.  When I showed up at the Chapel, he had socks and “slippers” (Non-islanders call them sandals).  He was getting blisters from his shoes…I think his mission was the first time he had ever worn shoes.  He was grateful and was sad that I was leaving in 4 weeks.  He likes having an Abrone Matai that is watching out for him. He will survive just fine, but I will miss some of these new ones. 

Summer TIME:  When I was young, it was interesting to see how kids changed over summer vacation.  Girls would get prettier, and guys might lift weights and learn a new skill (or not), and the shy kid might come out of his shell some more.  A “transfer” is only 6 weeks, and it’s like a condensed 3 months of summer break as far as changes go.  People can change a lot (if they want to or if the circumstances align).  It has been interesting seeing a missionary adjust and change in that 6-week period.  New missionaries are learning languages (English and Twi) and learning how to teach, use transportation, adjust to the heat, and become familiar with a different culture.  Mission transfers, new companions, and new areas are like giving a young man or a young woman a chance to start over and change and be better.  You can see some great growth in these missionaries.  I have seen it in some of them that I have been able to track this whole year.  It is rewarding to see them excel and grow.  There are those who do not use their time wisely and waste a good opportunity, but “always next transfer” to change…

“…there is always next year”

Chicago Cubs Fans for 100 years

Fourth quarter:  All kinds of things can happen in the fourth quarter.  Just ask the Atlanta Falcons.  We had a crazy week with people coming in and having appointments.  We had a newly arrived missionary go home; that has a ripple effect, where the president has to shuffle the players to different positions in the middle of a transfer.  Sister Bertha has had to adjust the calendar, and I recall that we did not have our visas in time when we came last year.  Being able to call an audible and always be ready to go a different direction or adjust to a new play is an important trait I thought I had, but it has been honed more here.  Get ready, be ready, go…

“That’s why I hate School.”

-sister missionary, when I asked her to add the numbers together for reimbursement

Keys to an exchange:  One of the elders left the keys to his apartment at the mission home on a Friday.  We looked around and did not find them.  Then, an hour later, they were discovered in the copy room.  I called and set out to drive the keys out to them an hour away…Friday evening traffic is a bear, so once I got there, I figured I would stay and teach with them.  They were “whitewashing” the area, which means both companions are new and have to basically start over.  So let's meet some people…by eating.  We met the local fruit stand lady and watched her prepare our mango and pineapple.  They did not know the area, so we just looked for the cleanest “chop bar.” (“Chop” is how you eat fufu with your fingers; chop is the slang for eat, so a chop bar is any food place.) We ordered 3 schawarmas (Ghanain burrito) and went to their apartment to make sure the keys work and to eat.  It was fun just talking with these two good missionaries.  Elder Anderson took my brother and me out teaching in his last area.  Parsons is just a good person.  We love all these missionaries.

Elder Bertha

May 29-31